


Complete

by TopSecretLoser



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Everyone Needs A Hug, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, S3 spoilers, Sad, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-15 21:14:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29814477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TopSecretLoser/pseuds/TopSecretLoser
Summary: ❤Anime Spoilers S3❤After years of telling himself that Paradis only contains devils, Reiner has started to question everything after meeting (Y/N). Now, Reiner sits beside Annie and Bertolt, struggling to break the news that after everything that's happened, he's started to have second thoughts. It's pretty sad, and kind of depressing, but I think that you'll like the end. :) I hope that you enjoy!
Relationships: Reiner Braun/Reader
Comments: 4
Kudos: 49





	Complete

**Author's Note:**

> Please feel free to tell me what you liked, didn't like, and just your overall thoughts! All requests, smut, angst, fluff, ect are welcome and please leave kudos if you enjoyed.  
> ❤Luv you❤

It was a random late night when Reiner was pacing around on top of the walls, back and forth, his palms sweaty and his heart aching. The cool night breeze was refreshing, but it wasn’t enough to cool Reiner off, he couldn’t help but grow more and more anxious by the second. He was the only one out, waiting for Annie and Bertolt to arrive. He tried to calm his nerves by settling down and sitting on the edge of the wall, facing out towards what he called home while he waited for them. He was firmly gripping the edge of the wall when he heard something, two sets of ODM gear.

Bertolt climbed over the edge of the wall followed by Annie, Bertolt looked a little more worried while Annie simply looked monotone as usual. Reiner tried one last time to collect his thoughts as the pair approached him, knowing that he shouldn’t be doing this in the first place. Annie was going to be pissed, and Bertolt would be doubtful of what he was about to say, but he had to get this off of his chest before it was too late.

“What do you want.” Annie took a seat beside Reiner.

“Did someone find us out?” Bertolt sat on the other side of Reiner.

“What? No- no of course not, but it isn’t good.” Reiner sighed

“Well?” Annie spoke trying to get this over with, she just wanted to get to sleep and figured Reiner was having another episode as he usually did, they were happening more and more often these days. 

“It’s about someone, it’s…” 

Reiner had rehearsed this moment time and time again, yet it would seem that all of his practice has done no good. Annie was growing impatient but she, and Bertolt especially, already knew what he was about to say, or at least who he was going to bring up. 

“Y/N?” Bertolt finished Reiner’s sentence.

“Reiner you talk about her all the time, just get over her already.” 

“I’m starting to think that maybe... well maybe what if (Y/N) isn’t a devil?” Reiner looks down as he speaks, his hands turn into fists.

“ _ WHAT… _ ” Annie’s eyes go wide and she gets a small smile on her face, she quite literally couldn’t believe what she was hearing.

“Well, devils are always mean! And cold! And they’re evil! (Y/N) isn’t like that though, and-”

“Reiner, remember when Marcel died? Remember when you pushed me and Bertolt to move on despite everything? Yet you think you even have the right to be second guessing yourself now?” Annie smiled a crazed smile despite her inner rage.

Annie had especially hated Reiner ever since Marcel died and Reiner made them persist in their mission despite that. The amount of times she had wanted to kill him were almost immeasurable and she would be lying if she said she still considered him a friend in her heart. Despite her cold outer personality, Annie feels guilty, every day, often crying herself to sleep knowing that she has to kill the devils that she has started to secretly come to like. This was all a secluded side of herself that she had almost never let out, but now she was beginning to show this vulnerable part of her.

“Reiner… I understand that some of them seem nice, but you’ve always said they  _ aren’t  _ our friends. You’re always telling us that we can’t see them as anything besides what they are- devils, filth, and a plague to mankind.” Bertolt spoke a little more calmly, understanding Reiner’s pain.

“But (Y/N) is different, she-”

“She’s not  _ different! _ ” Annie shouted and cut him off, “You aren’t even in the place to be feeling self pity now, of all times now! Why couldn’t you have felt bad back then! Why not then Reiner? Why not when Marco was dying?”

Annie’s shouting was getting louder and by now Bertolt got more anxious, worried that someone might hear and find the three of them out so late. Annie had tears begin to well in her eyes, her sadistic smile turned to a dejected look. She could never forgive herself for what happened to Marco, she could never forgive Reiner either, what happened that day was traumatizing, so much so that she could swear she still heard his screams.

“We had to! You think I don’t feel bad!? I-” Reiner defended himself and also began to shout just as Annie did, Bertolt debated leaving.

“I hate you Reiner. I hate you and so does all of Marley, Marco, Marcel, your parents, and everyone else on this damned island.” Annie walked off with her face wet with tears.

“Annie, wait!” Bertolt started but she was already gone.

There was a long moment of silence when Annie left, Reiner felt a deep pain in his chest, as if his heart had been ripped out by Annie’s words. To him, she was right, the way he saw it he was a monster, a monster whose sins were past any form of redemption. He hated himself more than anyone, and even debating ending it all a few times, to say he was hanging on a thread would be an understatement.

“Why…” Bertolt finally spoke out.

“I don’t know...” Reiner said softly, his throat scratchy from yelling, “I just don’t know.”

“After everything we’ve been through, out of all people, of all times…”

“I couldn’t tell you if I wanted too,” Reiner closed his eyes for a short moment, visualizing your face as clear as he could, “something about her is just different… she’s just so-”

“Perfect,” Bertolt sighed and Reiner shot a confused look at him, “That’s what you always say. We’ve had this conversation time and time again, Annie and I were getting suspicious that something like this would happen, we talked about what we would do, but in the end… it seemed inevitable.” 

Reiner opened his mouth to speak, but he couldn’t think of anything to say. He’s already said the same thing over and over, talking about how special you are, how kind you are, so on and so forth. It felt like their conversations were becoming a cycle, and something had to break, and soon, because Bertolt, Annie, and Reiner weren’t the same since you showed up. Reiner finally had a reason to live, a reason to question his life and what he did rather than live as a blind follower. 

“Goodnight Reiner.” Bertolt sighed, exhausted and in need of sleep.

Bertolt left and Reiner was left alone as usual. His eyes began to sting and his throat felt dry, he hated this feeling, all too familiar for him to bear. This feeling of hurt was one of the only constants in his life, the only reliable factor was pain, the pain of his father, the pain of Marcel, the pain of everything he has been through in his life. 

Reiner rested his face in his hands and started to quietly sob, his head started to pound and he grit his teeth trying to bear the immense tourture he felt. His sobs got louder and he couldn’t hold it in any longer, he was falling apart, and he couldn’t stop it. Hot tears began to stream down his face and he started to sniffle. He took his hands off of his face to see the looming drop below him, he watched as a tear that had rolled down to his chin fell and disappeared out of sight below him. He took a breath in, his vision blurry from tears.

_ What if I… just jump. Just get it over with already, all I have to do is jump, then it’s all over, I can die already just like everyone wants me to… My father doesn't want me, I'm the reason Marco died, I've killed my own friend's family. How can I even call myself a man anymore after I killed so many innocent lives… I'm sick of feeling this way, I'm sick of crying, I'm sick of waking up from seemingly never ending night terrors, I want it to end... This all needs to end, I just have to jump and it's over... All I have to do is- _

“Rei...ner?” You stood a ways away from Reiner, behind him on the other edge of the wall your hands fiddling together, “What’re you doing out so late?”

“I…” Reiner tried to come up with an excuse but ended up speachless.

“I heard something odd coming from up here,” you sat beside him innocently watching your feet dangle below you, “we could get in so much trouble if we get caught.” 

You look up at the stars appreciating their beauty until you notice Reiner hasn’t responded. He isn’t usually nearly this quiet, and normally sitting with him, even in silence, felt comfortable. When you look over at him you see his eyes seem hazy, only slightly glimmering from the moonlight. He had a single tear run down his cheek and fall.

“Reiner,” your face dropped, “what’s wrong?” 

“(Y/N), do you ever… do you ever feel like you're always stuck feeling depressed, and it just feels like-” Reiner shook his head and sighed, staring up at the stars as if he were talking to them for an answer rather than you, “like nothing is okay. Like the pain never stops. Like you aren’t enough.”

“Sometimes...” you watch the stars with him, “but, then I think of you,” your face is plastered with a sad smile, “and then, I remember all of the fun times we have together, and how strong you are, and everything feels right when I’m with you. I always know that, as awful, overwhelming, and exhausting life can be, I’ll have you. And, no matter what hardships I face, everything will always be okay, because you’re by my side.”

Reiner was silent and thoughtless until he felt your hand rest over his. His tired eyes slightly widened at the feeling, such a small action completely took him by surprise, it had been years since anyone had touched him with an intention of compassion and love. Your words began to become understood by him, and his chest felt tight. Your words seemed to almost hug his heart, and he felt comforted at them, a comfort he had never felt before. He lost his breath for a moment, and when he looked up at you, his dull, puffy eyes almost drew a tear from your eye. His face still looked sad as he scanned over all of your features and reminded himself of every memory he had with you. His eyes locked with yours and he appreciated their beauty before his eyebrows furrowed. 

You were all he needed, he knew that, just looking at you and reliving all of the time you spent together made him cry a small tear of joy. In that moment, despite how awful he had been feeling just seconds ago, he felt complete, he felt that he was enough. You would never know how much Reiner needed to see you just then, and you would never know that you had just saved his very life, but Reiner would always remember every detail of this night.

“(Y/N),” he stood up and helped you up after, “I-”

He held both of your hands, the moonlight illuminating his features, his hair gently waving in the small comforting night breeze. Stars danced above your heads as you looked Reiner in the eyes, his hands tightened their grip on yours. Reiner’s eyes no longer looked dull, they no longer looked cloudy, there was a sparkle that hadn’t been there before. For the very first time in Reiner’s life, he wasn’t a warrior. He wasn’t a soldier. Reiner was Reiner, and now he had you, and that’s all he had ever wanted.

“I love you.” He held you close, one hand resting on the back of your head, the other wrapped around your waist, and his chin resting on top of your head, you listened to his slow heartbeat as his lips upturned into a smile and a tear fell from his cheek. "I love you, I love you, I love you." 

“I love you too, Reiner.”


End file.
